Wed., May 20, Schorndorf, Germany - Guitar Days Festival/Workshop-- Petra announced that her mother had invited the band to dinner at her house a few minutes away for Tuesday night, so we all took a van trip into Weilheim to get some wine and other stuff for the dinner and some supplies for The Village. Joanna was now being very possessive of Maryam, and didn't let Dede hold her the entire day. I was finally getting impatient with Joanna's petty behaviors, too, and kind of let her know it. Before dinner, Petra's mom introduced us to Joos, or Joseph, her paramour, a very vital, rugged-looking 70-something with a passion for Celtic mysticism, jewelry and astrology. In other words, a very cool guy in Dede and my eyes. He had been Petra's stepfather since she was 12. Over dinner, Dede immediately befriended Joseph, and they began to talk business. Dede figured maybe she could provide a gemstone connection for him through her connections, as he needed a better wholesale connection than he had. The food was delicious (lasagna, what else?), and my wine glass kept getting filled up by Petra's mom, until I was pretty soused. We finally left around midnight, and I stumbled to bed, waking up at 3 a.m. with digestive pains and a hangover. This kept me up until dawn, when I finally got back to sleep. I managed to drag my ass out of bed at 8 a.m. for breakfast. I was the last one to the table, and when I arrived, Joanna was talking animatedly to Vic about basketball, and Dede was at the end of the table looking perplexed. She got me some coffee and yoghurt and motioned to me to go into the kitchen. "It's pretty ice cold out there," she offered. I was in such a hangover funk, I couldn't see much, but could feel something was definitely up. Joanna was becoming increasingly distant to both me and Dede, and so was Tony. It was really getting to me, and I didn't appreciate it. Something had to give. We had had to get up at 8 a.m. to cover the three-and-a-half hour journey to Schorndorf, which is near Frankfurt, so Joanna could be there by noon for the introduction to the festival/workshop. Joanna was to teach a class in blues guitar for five days, but she had no idea what she was going to do--just wing it. When we arrived in Schorndorff, Petra's first task was to situate us in the rooms provided by the festival. Unfortunately, Joanna, Petra and Dede were in one place and Tony, Vic and I were in another--across town. Like a trooper, Petra perservered, making sure everyone was getting their needs met. I was feeling like shit, and wanted to get to the hotel and just sleep. Tony and Vic wanted to go get some food at the festival, so I opted to stay at the hotel. What I heard was that Petra was going to pick me up at 6 p.m. and we were then going to unload the van and do a soundcheck. By 6:30, Petra came by with Dede, both looking tense and tired. They had changed it up at the festival. Now we were to all meet there for soundcheck, with the equipment already loaded in, so Petra had to come get me for that. When we got there, the drums were set up, but all wrong, so I fixed that expecting to do a soundcheck. Petra brought me a food voucher, and then said she was going to pick up Joanna and have Dede meet the newly found nanny and jen her in on Maryam. They would be back in a half hour or so. I then realized there could be no soundcheck until Joanna got there, so I just went to go eat some pasta at the on-premises cafe, and waited around for an hour for them to return. Finally, Petra, Joanna/baby and Dede drove up and we went back into the venue. The workshop was being held in a sort of cultural complex with several rooms spread over three or four buildings. The mainstage was in a cavernous theatre area with a large stage and even a curtain. By the time we entered the room, another band was set room to pick up his bass and I saw him actually grin to himself upon hearing this exchange. Bastard. I realized that it was over. If Joanna couldn't appreciate Dede, then she wasn't going to appreciate what I was preparing to do in the publicity department. It was yet another case of control-itis. As soon as the right people start helping with the right things, the bandleader gets defensive and tries to cut them off--fear of success syndrome full blown. Dede and I decided not to do dinner--I wasn't hungry anyway. Meanwhile, Petra came to the room, and Dede was trying valiantly to hold back tears. After hearing what happened, Petra hugged Dede saying, "You didn't deserve that. Everyone's tired at the end of a tour, and I don't think Joanna meant what she said." I didn't agree because Joanna had been building up a head of steam with Dede and me for a few days, but premeditatedly waited till after the last show to let us have it. No, this was the unwelcome sign posted big as can be to Dede and me, and I told Petra that. After about a half hour, Dede and I were chased out of the green room by the festival staff as we waited for Joanna, Petra and Tony to finish eating. We strolled over to the cafe and spotted Petra and Joanna in a heated discussion with Tony, and saw the battle lines being drawn. I then started making plans to bail out of the band. Yes, Joanna is stressed with a baby and touring in a band with a rhythm section that doesn't get along. But, that's no reason to go off on my wife, especially after she's busted her butt working for her for free. Petra took us back to the hotels in tense silence, and I had a really hard time getting to sleep as my mind raced. To me it was really Hand of God pulling away the curtain of perception using Dede as the Angel of Revelation, as has been the case several times in our relationship. Because Dede is so open and honest and verbal, she brings that out in others, so all the rough edges show along with the good stuff. I count on Dede for this, and subliminally had that on my agenda for bringing her on this tour. I was 90% convinced to leave the band, but was going to decide how fast based on Dede's report tomorrow. Would Joanna apologize to Dede? Thank her for all her hard work?

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